forevermeg (forevermeg) wrote,
forevermeg
forevermeg

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Please... I just want to talk to a human being...

Does anyone else ever have that same, desperate cry? In this modern, technological age where we carry computers in our pockets and have refrigerators that can create digital grocery lists, we have cars that run off of electricity and even flashlights that recharge when you shake them. All this, and they can't seem to ever improve the computer voice you talk to on the phone.

We've all experienced it: calling the big corporation to ask a simple question that could be answered in a matter of minutes. Instead, we're subjected to a supposedly "pleasant" usually-female voice that says,

"Thank you for calling ______. Please enter your zip code so we can better direct your call. Thank you. Welcome to ______. Our regular business hours are Monday-Friday, 8 am to 5 pm. For customer service questions dial _______. For questions regarding our policies dial _______. For employment openings dial ______. For all other departments, please stay on the line. Please listen to the following list of options and make the appropriate choice. Press "1" for English. Press "2" for Spanish. Thank you. Please listen to the following list of options and make the appropriate choice. Press "1" for _____, Press "2" for ______, Press "3" for _______, Press "4" for ______, Press "5" for _____, Press "6" for ______, Press "7" for _______, Press "8" for ________, Press "9" for _______. If you would like to speak to a customer service representative press "0". Thank you. I am sorry, all of our customer service representatives are busy assisting other customers, please stay on the line or press "1" to return to the main menu."

*cue elevator music*

..... 5 minutes later.....

"I am sorry, all of our customer service representatives are busy assisting other customers, please stay on the line or press "1" to return to the main menu."

*cue elevator music*

.... 30 minutes later ....

"I am sorry...."

*interruption*

"Hello, this is Bob, how may help you?"

"(finally!) Yes, I need help with ______."

"Alright, allow me to transfer you to the appropriate department."

"Thank you for calling ______. Please enter your zip code so we can better direct...."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 0! 0! 0! 0!"

"I am sorry, I do not understand that number. Good-bye"

*Click*



And that's when we go out and purchase a new phone because we smashed the other one into a billion pieces.

Hmmm. So maybe it IS a conspiracy by the phone manufacturers? Sneaky....

Oh well. I needed a new phone anyway.

m.
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